I've pondered a bit on a subject, I admit I look at it a bit too rationally to weigh emotions into
this:
When is having family present in your life an obsessive impulse?.
I look at some of my peers, acquaintances and teammates and I can't help but wonder about it.
They are living physically present with their nuclear family:
- They are in constant physical contact with their extended family.
- They spend most of the time with their nuclear family.
- They are in constant communication with their nuclear family when not present; ie, messages at
work.
They are present in their digital life:
- Pictures on their phones.
- Pictures on their computers.
- Pictures on their devices.
- Videos on their devices.
- Pictures on their consumer social media.
- Mentions of them in their devices.
- Pictures on their instant communication applications.
- Mentions on their instant communication applications.
They are usually brought to attention in their work life:
- Mentions about family in teams communications.
- Pictures about family vacations or events in teams communications.
- Noise of family activities during team communications.
- Video of family activities during team communications.
- Sometimes they even work in the same company, or geographical area or directly related-business.
Family is present in their recreational activities:
- Free time is spent with family.
- Family activities comprise most of pleasurable actions.
- Most activities are meant to be shared.
They are present in their physical life:
- They have pictures of their family in their family home.
- They have pictures in their wallets.
- They have pictures in their office.
- They have decorative family objects away from the family home.
- There are family stickers in the family car.
- Property ownership is based around family ties.
- Sometimes, there are family tattoos.
- There are also family scars, of course.
Isn't it a bit too present?
Isn't it too much?
Family is a relationship. A shared bond between people, and sometimes animals and objects.
It is frequently the source of our greatest joys. And of our greatest sorrows.
It shapes human mind. But it also twists it.
It builds great things. And it also destroys them.
It's not an end goal of itself.
To me, they look like they don't have a family. They have an obsession with forming part of
one.
An obsession to feel that they belong, and constantly, maddeningly reassure themselves of
membership.
This is me. This is my {son,daughter,wife,husband,brother,sister,father,mother,uncle,aunt,niece,nephew,pet,property}. This is our relationship. We are doing something together. That is who we are.
Oddly enough, this obsessive trait does not seem to be helping the status of most families.
Families still break and bend and deform at the same rate as they always have.
Loss, and pain, and suffering and misery still seep out of groups of humans at the same constant,
beating rate as they always have.
You don't need to believe me, look around you, observe, and tell me this world is even affected by this obsession.
Tell me if this world is a bit better because of this.
Defining oneself by relationships ends up removing key characteristics of the self.
You lose choice, you lose will and the enrichment that comes from multiple individual variations and
permutations in favor of a single amorphous blob of identity.
An amoeba of all joined without identity beyond being inside.
And it has cilia and it tries to reach and eat everything, your work, your love, your mind, your
body, your self all the time.
May they never lose their family. They no longer have even a sense of self.
2023-August-18
